Mar 20

Mar 20 Prisoner Tongue

She's had a prisoner tongue for way too long.

It's 2016, and her body's in pain, staring at the wall,
she has tears running down, she's shaking and she's hurting.
Praying that she's not pregnant because God knows she can't afford it. Tries to ignore
that memory but can't erase it. They say actions speak louder than words. And
maybe it's true. Because his actions left her bleeding and with tape plastered
on those lips, silencing her forever.

And to this day, when she sees him, her heart shakes,
palms start to sweat, and her body aches. Because contrary to what you might
have been thinking, this wasn't a love story. It is a story where instead of
love, was pain. Instead of acceptance, there was no consent. Her arms, pinned to the bed, her voice, silenced, her heart, torn into two. She's had a prisoner tongue way too long.

1 out of 3 girls may be sexually abused before
she turns 16 years old. Most of this abuse (90%) will be done by someone she
knows and 70% will involve genital contact.

1 in 7 boys may be sexually abused by adulthood

Approximately 1 in 5 New Zealand women
experience a serious sexual assault.

Young people are statistically at the highest
risk of being sexually assaulted; the 16 – 24-year-old age group is four times
more likely to be sexually assaulted than any other age group

Research strongly demonstrates that physical and
mental health problems resulting from sexual abuse and rape can be significant.

Only about 10 out of 100 sexual abuse crimes are
reported and 3 of those get to court. Sadly, only one of those is likely to get a conviction.

She’s had a prisoner tongue for way too long.

Her mother tells her she should've kicked him. Her mind tells her it's not my fault. Her friend tells her it's okay, at least you're not pregnant. She's sitting in her room and wants to scream
but she can’t find her voice, and right now he's in front of her and she's tongue tied, her prisoner tongue is taking over.

It happens so often that it's overlooked, we're shut down and silenced,
dupattas draped over us, head bending down, lips sealed shut,
she's shouting but no one can hear her because no one is ready to listen.
No one is ready to listen. Short skirts mean you want it, a long dress means
you want it, fully covered body means you want it. Smile at him and you want
it, hug him and it means you want it. She's been told to take it as a compliment,
and up to this day she's been begging for someone to just say
”I believe you".

More than 23% of women who participated in a
recent Auckland study reported that they had been sexually abused as children.
Most of the abuse was perpetrated by male family members with an estimated
median age of 30 years. For 50% of the women, the abuse had occurred on
multiple occasions.

So, don't worry about her telling anyone,
because her lips are sealed, this prisoner tongue has forbidden her to utter a
single word to anyone.

This prisoner tongue has taken over her.

Emails and texts from her brothers telling her
that they know what she did, but instead of scolding her, they tell her that she’s a slut. That she wanted it and it’s her fault. Maybe she used to believe that.

Not anymore.

This prisoner tongue will take over no more.

She’s a writer and she will write, and she will speak,
and she will shout because this is not okay. Because you can tell her that she
shouldn't talk about it but the only thing that it proves is that you're a
coward. Ignoring a problem does not remove it. So many men, women, children are
being raped and sexually harassed and no one is doing anything about it. Sexual
abuse is not talked about enough. It is a taboo that needs to be broken.