Active Bystanding 101
When things escalate, your instinct might be to freeze. But even in dangerous moments, there are safe ways to step in. Active bystanding means noticing something unsafe, trusting your gut, and taking action - without putting yourself in danger. So what does that look like?
What to look out for
Warning signs that something isn’t right:
Someone being followed or isolated
A drunk or unconscious person being led away
Verbal threats, shouting, or crying
One person clearly uncomfortable, while the other ignores it
Someone trying to lock a door or block someone’s exit
Your instinct to feel uncomfortable in these moments is valid. You’re allowed to act on it.
What you can do
If it feels dangerous, you do not need to confront anyone directly. There are safer ways to respond:
Get help immediately. Find security, a staff member, a trusted adult, or call emergency services.
Distract or interrupt. Spill a drink, ask a random question, cause a moment of pause to break the moment.
Use your phone to record from a safe distance if a situation feels like it might escalate. Documentation helps.
Pretend to know the person at risk. "Hey, there you are! I’ve been looking for you."
It’s not about being the loudest - it’s about being smart, fast, and safe.
Stick together
Don’t act alone if you don’t have to. Get a group of friends or bystanders involved.
Say something like: “I think that person’s not safe. Can you help me do something?”
People often want to help - they just need someone to speak up first.
What next?
After the situation, check in with the person you were concerned about.
Are they okay?
Do they need help getting home or to a safe space?
Do they want to talk to someone, or make a report?
Let them lead the next steps - support without pressure is key.
Calling for help
It’s okay to call 111, even if you’re not totally sure what’s going on. We often hesitate to involve the police because we don’t want to “overreact,” escalate tension, or get someone in trouble unnecessarily. That feeling is real - and valid. But if you're witnessing something that feels wrong - calling 111 can be the safest option. The truth is:
You don’t need to be certain that something bad is happening.
You’re not wasting anyone’s time, if it’s not urgent, they’ll calmly redirect you to 105 (the non-emergency police line).
That one call could prevent something from escalating.
It’s okay to act on your gut. Silence protects harm. Speaking up - even just by making a call - can make all the difference.
We are stronger together
You don’t have to fix everything. But doing something, even something small, can change the outcome.
Being an active bystander doesn’t mean putting yourself in danger. It means refusing to be a silent witness.
You are part of the culture shift. You are part of the safety net.
- Dear Em
