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It's Not A Compliment

It's Not A Compliment

We're looking at how guys rating your body makes you feel. And how you're supposed to be GRATEFUL for being sexually harassed! Yuck! 


First up though, let's get back to why Jessica was so mad at Hannah about the list, and what Jessica could do to rewind the tape.

Here are some of our faves;

  • Jessica was upset after Alex dumped her and thought it was because she hadn’t put out, and that Hannah must have
  • She was humiliated by Alex listing her as “worst ass” and everyone laughing at her and took it out on Hannah
  • If I was her I would have taken some time to cool off and gone to vent to another friend about it. They'd probably say Hannah would never do that.
  • Jessica should have asked Hannah about it, and she'd realise Alex was just being a d*ck to look cool.
  •  She should have gone to ask ALEX what was going on.  He was the one who wrote the list.
  •  Even if she had slapped Hannah, she could have said sorry. She could have said that Alex wanted to hook up and she’d just freaked out when she saw Hannah’s name.

It seems like Jessica was feeling pressured by Alex to have sex, and she took it allllll out on Hannah. It’s a LOT more common than you’d think! Us girls have lots of pressure to be wanted and accepted by guys, and it can make us turn on each other and see other girls -and even our FRIENDS- as competition. Yuck! 

The good news is that, we can catch ourselves when we find ourselves starting to get crazy-eyes when a guy we like is paying our  bestie attention, or if we over-react and go mental at them.

We need to be REAL with ourselves and admit where those bad feelings come from,  and apologise  so we have each other to get through the hard times.

Fight the pressure that wants to push us apart and don’t end up like Jessica and Hannah! What’s so sucky about the end of Episode 2 is that Hannah’s left friendless again – but Jessica loses someone who loves her and who has her back too.

Which brings us to episode 3 – the other third of Hannah’s bff group, Alex.

This week we find out why Alex thought it was such a good idea to put Hannah as “best ass” and Jessica as “worst”. He thought implying he got with Hannah would make Jessica change her mind and have sex with him – and make him look cool in front of his jock mates.

Instead, it shattered Hannah and Jessica’s friendship. Jessica guessed Hannah was the “best ass" because she'd got with Alex, calling her a slut (thanks Justin).

In the episode, the whole class passes the list around, giggling as they see all the girls reduced to “best lips” and “worst tits”. Clay and the others just don’t get why Hannah can’t take the “compliment” of being named “best ass”.  

And Hannah now has to deal sexual harassment from a packs of guys, ending with the world’s biggest jerk grabbing her in the final scene. Great job, Alex!

 But Hannah puts it best when she tells Alex:

“You made it open season on Hannah Baker. You put a target on my back”.

I Don't Want This Body - Mary's Story

Mary was 11 when she pretty much got boobs overnight. Suddenly she started to get lots of attention and people commented on her body. It made her feel self-conscious.

 Mary wanted boys to stop looking at her chest, so she wore baggy sweaters and loose clothing to hide her shape.

When she was 14, a group of boys noticed her during P.E and started wolf-whistling her and shouting out that they loved her tits. When she didn’t say anything they asked her why she couldn’t take a compliment.

Mary had no one to talk to. She used to go to her room and cry for hours. She kept trying to hide her body, and hated her boobs for making her life hell. 

When she finally talked to a friend about it, she realised how vulnerable she felt having guys stare at her all the time, and how unfair it was to be yelled at like that.

It’s not a compliment!

Don’t believe bullsh*t like “it was just a joke” or “can’t you take a compliment?”. It’s OK to be upset if guys are harassing you! 

What could Alex & co. do if they could rewind the tape? 

There's lots of things Alex, Clay and everyone around them could do to change things. And we're sure there are lots of things we could ALL do to help our friends and the Hannah Bakers in our lives when they're being harassed! Here are our questions for this week's episode:

  • Why did everyone keep handing on the list?
  • Why wouldn't girls make a list about guys?
  • When is it ACTUALLY a compliment about someone’s body?
  • What does Hannah mean when she says “you’ll never know what it feels like to be a girl?
  • What can we do when we see a girl being  sexually harassed?

Tell us what you think everyone would do if they could go back in time.

Comment on Facebook or Instagram and we'll share your ideas next week in our deep dive on Episode 4 next week!

This is part of a series to help us see what we can do to help give the Hannah Bakers of the world a different ending x.

Here are alllll the links here:

13 Reasons Why We Started Em

Ep 1: Pics & betrayal

Ep 2: Boys vs. Friends

Ep 3: It's not a compliment 

Ep 4: Not safe anywhere

Ep 5 & 6: She's so easy

Ep 7 & 8: That girl is too much

Ep 9: Who do you believe?

Ep 10: Secrets hurt

Ep 11: Triggers & White Knights

Ep 12: The worst day of my life


Be The Boss

Be The Boss

Boys Vs Friends

Boys Vs Friends