Stop the Slut Shaming
What are we actually saying when we call someone a “slut”?
“Slut” carries the idea that someone is dirty, not pure, and not worthy of any respect.
Slut's insult that's pretty much only ever used for us women. Women get called sluts when they do something sexual or act confident in their sexuality, and sometimes when they have been sexually abused or violated.
Sooo, that means ALL WOMEN are only worth respect if they act in the 'acceptably' when it comes to sex.
There are very strict rules about women and sexuality, and we all get to know them without thinking about them too hard. They're told to us over and over again in subtle and not so subtle ways.
Here are some classic examples we've seen in the media:
A sitcom dad threatens his daughter’s boyfriend with physical pain should “anything happen” after the school ball – Hey Dad, how about #mybodymyterms?
When you act like you have to police my body you are taking away my sense of ownership over my choices about sex, making me think my body is a battleground for the different men in my life to fight over. This takes over my right to think about WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT.
Public shaming of female celebrities who have naked photos leaked without consent. The idea being that as a female you should never engage in this sort of promiscuity even in a trusting relationship because “of course they were going to get leaked”. How about public shaming of the men who violated these women in a devastating way by sharing these photos without permission? That’s something worthy of shame.
Subtle signals about the way females should act coming from movies we love, sigh.
In Disney's movies, the "bad" girls will competive aggressively with the "good" princess for guy's attention. Think of the ugly stepsisters fighting over the Prince in Cinderella or the three blonde “bimbos” vying for Gustav’s attention in Beauty and the Beast, the list goes on.
Now we're not saying Disney are evil and we can’t enjoy these movies anymore, but it’s important to think about the messages we receive at a young age.
"Sluts" are typically seen as loud, pushy and aggressive, things that a “good girl” with “self-respect” shouldn’t be. Women of all ages who don’t act the way society says they should act can end up being labelled a slut as a way of shaming them back into acting in a way that is acceptable to everyone else around them.
Teen blogger Sabrina Nelson puts it best when she says “Girls who are loud rather than quiet, dynamic rather than submissive, or independent rather than dependent on men are considered to be sluts.”
As women, we should get to say, wear, and do, what we like with our bodies. The people we hurt when we slut-shame are women just like us.
And the WORST part is often people are slut shamed when they have been sexually abused, which is a way of blaming the victim for what happened to them.
Saying and thinking things like, you were too drunk, you dressed slutty, you were asking for it. This kind of thinking is NEVER OK. No one “deserves” to have someone ABUSE them because they were wagging school, or had too much to drink or were somewhere they “shouldn’t” be.